• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • Can’t Steal My Joy — The Book
  • About
  • Speaking
  • Featured On
  • Blog
    • Our Story Part 1- The Beginning
    • Our Story Part 2- Receiving the diagnosis
    • Our Story Part 3- Journeying a different story than planned
    • Our Story Part 4- Learning to live after loss
    • Finding Joy
    • Living With Grief
    • Finding Truth
    • Living In Community
  • Join
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram

Bekah Bowman

Can't Steal My Joy

Home | Can't Steal My Joy Manifesto | What are you looking at: a desperate perspective shift

What are you looking at: a desperate perspective shift

Can't Steal My Joy Manifesto, Finding Joy, Finding Truth

I closed my eyes. Remember, Remember, Remember, echoes in my head.

Who am I? He askes me.

“You are Lord of all, Creator, Abba Father, Savior and Redeemer,” I respond.

What do you see around you? He probes.

“Defeat. Sickness. Disappointment. Frustration. Failure. Grief. Death.” I utter under staggered breaths.

Ah, yes, Daughter. Those things are present and always will be right in front of you telling lies about your worth, your identity. Do this for me, try again. But this time… look up. Now tell me, what do you see?

Learning to see beyond

I look up. Not physically, but mentally, re-posturing not just my thinking, but my heart. I look above the swirling dark clouds of disappointment. I look above the lightning strikes of failure. I look above the quicksand of defeat. I look above the grave of death. It takes a bit because all of that has clouded my vision and it’s hard to see past. But there is something beyond there that I sense an urgency to behold. I must see it. It holds so much more than what my eyes were seeing before.


Photo by Luka Vovk on Unsplash

As my eyes rise to what feels like an expansive sky, they lift up on life-giving winds that hold something more then desperation and fear. Here, in this space, is hope. When I look around, taking it all in, I realize this hope-wind is everywhere. Not only does it exist above the darkness below, but it swirls down throughout the shadows of broken life. It goes behind as far as I can see and carries up and beyond my limited vision in front of me. In this wind, carries a love and joy that cannot be separated from hope. No, there is indeed no way grab the weave of this trio, and unwind one without silencing the entire force. Hope IS love. Love IS joy. Joy IS hope. It strikes me, “This everlasting, intertwined, power is indestructible.” And in my next thought, “How is this possible?”

Why, daughter, why do you suppose is it impossible to silence this hope? This love? This joy? Is it a mere fabrication of your imagination? Is it created of your own positive thinking? Did you think this into being and will it to be just so? He gently shifts my perspective. I see quickly, I am not infinite enough to create such a lasting wind that holds such power in the face of evil and brokenness.


Photo by Daniel Tafjord on Unsplash

Hope existing among the broken

I look down below at the shadowland of brokenness and see this power whirling around grief, fear, disappointment, identity crisis, failure. I see love-gifts offered out of shattered hearts and broken flowers springing forth in full bloom. These offerings, this fresh life bounding out- they do not make sense. They could never happen on their own or by our willpower or positivity. On their own, they are defeated, broken and dying. Someone greater needs to exist to be able to pull such power out through broken vessels. That power floods through and magically takes what is broken and turns it to beauty. That power is our Savior on a cross, taking the scars and marks that should dull us forever and instead giving new life. The marks are still there though. I notice that is part of what makes this flower, that heart, that broken vessel look so beautiful.

I look up again. This is hope. This is a promised future of redemption and all things being made new. This is a promise that He stands with us now, has always been here, always will be here. He is Author of a story greater than any of us could ever pen. I look back down and I realize my perspective has shifted. When I look down, I also see hope. A promise of redemption in the here and now and a turning of hearts to make new and beautiful things in the face of all that threatens to tear away at our souls.

A new gift

My gift? A new set of lenses I call my ‘Jesus eyes’. They hold in focus the upper story, one that arcs across from the beginning of creation to now and holds a guaranteed victory in the future. A story that we all get to be part of, can grab a hold of the promises within it, and can be carried to new heights on hope-winds. No matter the circumstances surrounding us, our powerful Writer of the greatest story ever told is at work weaving hope, love, joy and redemption through our little stories. We no longer have to settle for being lost in darkness, unworthy and dead. No, rather we get to rise up, look up, hold on, breathe in, breathe out, step out, step in, re-focus, rest, move forward. Because all is not lost. And what has been lost is oh so temporarily so. Victory is ours in the upper story, in Jesus. May we choose to move our perspective from our lower story steeped in pity, selfishness, anger, grudges, and empty searching for our identity and move it above the dark clouds to Him, who is holding all of time together in a beautiful mosaic of grace, sacrifice, and redemption.


Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash

Friends, I discovered one of the manifesto’s of Can’t Steal My Joy is this – a perspective shift. Some wonder how our family continues to thrive after such pain and loss. Because we know it is temporary. And we know God promises a hope that will not disappoint. We know that soon, all that was broken will be made whole again. I get to live brave in that victory Jesus claimed over death now. And so do you.

What are you looking at?

Thanks for listening,

Bekah

PS. I’m constantly in awe at how we get to be part of such a massive, redemptive story. It keeps me on the edge of my seat. Better than any book I’ve ever read, and I’ve read some exhilarating ones. As God continues to write our story, I’m trying to be faithful to put words to them with the goal of sharing hope, encouragement and joy with you. Once a month, I connect with readers through a newsletter (or maybe better defined as simply a letter) full of encouragement, resources and JOY. Would love to connect with you there too. Sign up here and get the Can’t Steal My Joy Connection Guide, a companion piece to Can’t Steal My Joy: The Journey to a Different Kind of Brave, FREE!

Share74
Pin
Tweet
Email
Print
75Shares

April 2, 2019 · 8 Comments

Previous Post: « Can we just get back to grief
Next Post: Finding joy in play: 10 sensory rich toys for children with disabilities »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




subscribe without commenting

Comments

  1. Brandi Strickland says

    May 28, 2019 at 3:46 pm

    Love this. Powerful truth beautifully written. Thank you.

    Reply
  2. Bethany kimsey says

    April 3, 2019 at 8:51 am

    I love your writing and the truth in this post. When we have Jesus eyes as you speak about, the world becomes incredibly clear, His hand becomes so much more evident, and we can see the next step. Our scars are a part of our testimony, our brokenness pointing to His healing. Hope does not disappoint – Love this!

    Reply
    • bbowman says

      April 6, 2019 at 3:05 pm

      Amen! Thank you so much for your words, Bethany! Thankful to have connected here with you. Your site is beautiful. I love the hope words you share in each of your posts too! So great to “meet” a fellow hope*writer.

      Reply
  3. Teddie Hill says

    April 3, 2019 at 4:51 am

    I cannot express to you how deeply and profoundly your words speak to my spirit, Bekah. I can hardly wait for your book to come out. I have a feeling it will become a best-seller!

    Reply
    • bbowman says

      April 6, 2019 at 3:06 pm

      Teddie, you are such an encourager and I am so thankful God uses these words to speak to your spirit. What an honor to participate in His Big Story in this way. Love ya!

      Reply
  4. Steve Phillips says

    April 2, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    Once again your writing takes me across the line into luminal space. Transcendent. Thank you, and I’m so glad you’re book is on the way, Pastor Bekah.

    Reply
    • bbowman says

      April 6, 2019 at 3:09 pm

      Wow! Thank you, Steve. So thankful for you, for your words of affirmation and for the way God connects with you through these blogs. I would grow tired of sharing if it was just always about this little Bowman family. So thankful for the way God takes my experiences, pours out through them in writing and shares His hope for all through them. That makes it worth it every single time I hit that “publish” button. Love you guys!

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Where are we now? - Can't Steal My Joy The Book says:
    September 17, 2019 at 7:08 am

    […] Story. There is a story to be told right now. It’s full of plot twists, broken bridges, and perspective shifts. And we get to find the beauty-nuggets of hope, redemption and joy in it […]

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

Hey! It is nice to meet you!

Bekah Bowman

Hey, I’m Bekah and I’m so glad you’re here! It’s my mission to help you find joy, belonging, and hope in Jesus. I wear many hats, but some of my favorite hats are being a coach’s wife and a mom to boys. Read more…

  • Facebook
  • Instagram

Search by Category

We often make breakfast for dinner on Sunday eveni We often make breakfast for dinner on Sunday evenings. Last night's meal was pumpkin waffles.
.
My waffle iron beeped, letting me know it was done cooking the first batch. As I opened the lid, I winced as the waffles stuck to both sides of the iron. I forgot to spray. Shoot.
.
And then, I remembered the homemade whipped cream and chocolate chips I had in my possession and images of stuffed waffles started floating through my mind.
.
May you see your failures this week as an opportunity for stuffed waffles. 🤜🤛 #HappyMonday!
.
.
.
#perspectiveshift #kitchenblunders #cantstealmyjoy
Infusion day, which means a much needed refill on Infusion day, which means a much needed refill on brain juice! Love this sweet little boy. 

A couple nights ago I had an incredible dream about this bubba of mine. 

In my dream, Ely was just like he is now-- affected by batten disease, blind, not much verbal language ability, etc. 

Out of nowhere in this dream, he started telling me, in full sentences, all the things he was observing and understanding about the world around him. I was baffled by all that he could understand, and in my dream, it felt clear that I was learning something true about my son in real time. 

Then, tears started to roll down his face and he said, "mama, a lot of days, my body feels really good. But some days, my body feels like it's going to die." Well, I had tears rolling down my face as I wiped his away and said, "I know, buddy. I am so sorry you have to fight this disease." 

It was sad, but also an oddly intimate and comforting dream. I can't explain fully the gift this dream was. I have vivid dreams often, but this one was so different. No wonky random side stories, or unexplainable storylines when I woke up. It was as real as the scene in front of me now with Ely in a hospital bed infusing. 

Maybe a gift from God that was a glimpse into the mind of my son whose thoughts, feelings, and understandings sometimes feel so locked away and inaccessible? I don't know, but it's been on my mind since early Saturday morning. 

#adayinthelifeofEly #infusionday #giftfromGod #rarediseaselife #CLN2 #BattenDisease #biomarin #brineura #thankfulfortreatment
Anyone else's kids obsessed with Little Blue Truck Anyone else's kids obsessed with Little Blue Truck? I love when this cool dude helps me "read" his favorite stories. 😍
.
.
.
#adayinthelifeofEly #littlebluetruck #rarediseasefamily #specialneedsmom #disabilityawareness #cln2 #battendisease #miracleboy #differentnotless #rarediseaselife #team4titusely
Woke up this morning in a funk. Couldn't put my fi Woke up this morning in a funk. Couldn't put my finger on it right away, but felt it in my bones before I remembered in my mind.
.
5 years ago today we gathered for Titus's celebration of Life service.
.
The ache remains. The tears don't fall all the time like they used to, but it isn't hard to summon them.
.
I sat in my car in the parking lot at Ely's school, tears rising. I took a deep breath, threw my shifter into reverse (manual stick driver here!), and backed out. As I moved out of the parking lot, this tree captured all my attention.
.
The life, the death, the beauty in it all. This is life. This is my life. And the most hope-filled part of it all is the promise of new life in Jesus and his willingness to do life with me right now.
.
So I looked like a knucklehead pausing in the middle of school drop off to capture a picture of a ho-hum insignificant tree to remind me of Life. 💛
.
"In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart, for I have overcome the world." ~Jesus
Happy 16th Anniversary to my hubsters @dtbtrack20 Happy 16th Anniversary to my hubsters @dtbtrack20 ! Thanks to our awesome parents, we were able to get away for a few days to Southern Utah! Wow, it's beautiful down here!
.
Yesterday was a day full of yeses as we hiked through the slots of Buckskin Gulch. It was crowded at the beginning, but once people saw the freezing cold water they'd have to wade through (some up to mid-thigh for this shorty 🙋‍♀️) the crowds thinned fast. We only saw a few people after that. We stood at the first large puddle (knee high) that we'd have to wade through and thought, "We get to say yes to this today. We didn't come this far to turn around, so let's go for it."
.
I'm so glad we did! Yesterday was full of laughs, gorgeous views and stunning scenery, freezing cold water (brought back ice bath memories from college soccer), and a bit of a metaphor for our marriage-- hard treks, some painful (think walking barefoot on rocks), and joy!
A few weeks ago, I found myself on an impromptu ru A few weeks ago, I found myself on an impromptu run. Ran toward this beautiful sunset for the first half. Not the best I've ever seen,  but a beauty nonetheless.
.
Then it was time to turn around and race darkness home. It hit me that my run felt a little like my life. We had to turn from the beauty we thought was ahead of us, and instead run head on into darkness.
.
If you know me, even just a little bit, you know of my relentless pursuit of Jesus. But in my darkness when I couldn't pursue anymore,  I actually learned of His relentless pursuit of me.
.
I'm reminded of His promise in John 16:33 where he says "Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." He has overcome darkness. And that is why I run a little harder into it, because I'm not going to find permanent desolation there, but rather redemptive victory.
We were out on a walk today when a plane flew over We were out on a walk today when a plane flew overhead. I noticed Ely grow really still and lean toward the sound.
.
I stopped walking so he could listen. "Ane," he told me softly. He sat there listening long enough, I had time to open my camera and capture this moment.
.
I want to be better about listening like that. Leaning in, with intention, unhurried, no agenda, just listening.
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins
There has been a problem with your Instagram Feed.

Copyright © 2022 · Bekah Bowman · All Rights Reserved