• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • Can’t Steal My Joy — The Book
  • About
  • Speaking
  • Featured On
  • Blog
    • Our Story Part 1- The Beginning
    • Our Story Part 2- Receiving the diagnosis
    • Our Story Part 3- Journeying a different story than planned
    • Our Story Part 4- Learning to live after loss
    • Finding Joy
    • Living With Grief
    • Finding Truth
    • Living In Community
    • My Favorite Resources
  • Join
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram

Bekah Bowman

Can't Steal My Joy

Home | Finding Truth | What you need to know about this broken world and our victorious God

What you need to know about this broken world and our victorious God

Finding Joy, Finding Truth, Living In Community

Her sobs were too much to hold in. They burst from her with such power, it was as if every organ, muscle, tissue and bone were pushing it out all together. The wails pierced the world around her and flew high. Some would think they’d lift up only to be held in by the ceiling, but no–they pierced the veil of heaven. This broken, broken world.

She was at the end of herself. Perhaps she’d been there for a while, but had a strategic way to fool herself into believing she was keeping herself above water, distracting from the pain. But the demands of her roles and her expectations of what all of that should look like, collided in this moment. And she asked herself, why bother trying? In this moment all felt futile. And she felt worthless and unable to rise to expectations.

woman crying
Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR ANYWAY?

Something about the human way pulls us to hope, and longs for love, fulfillment, peace, happiness and an escape from the drudgery of life. Whether we’ve been told we do or do not deserve these things is beside the point. They are a part of our longing and we reach for them daily. 

All throughout the day, we put out signals–radars–to our outside world. Am I enough? Loved? Worthy? The answers we receive back can be so disappointing. And the good feedback we receive is short-lived before we need more. Or we might turn inward, studying all our incompetencies and illegitimate identities, feeling like a fraud. So we numb, stuff away and ignore. On the outside, our masks go on. We raise our defenses. On the inside, we weave lies around our heart that begin to turn into chains.

WHERE IS THIS PLACE OF FULFILLMENT

For short increments of time, our masks, defensive strategies, and lies work for us. Our avoidance of pain and fear is effective. We can avoid these feelings for a time by hiding behind a screen. Or behind big smiles and friendly jokes. We might hide by avoiding calls, texts and face to face interaction. Or maybe we turn to the one thing that seems to satisfy and turn it on overdrive. We are convinced this way of the broken world is the only way.

Before we know it, we arrive at that place, again. The one where we land in our muck, disgusted at ourselves for not ever getting this life thing right.

We’ve fallen into the very definition of insanity and still lie to ourselves. The next go around will be different, we say. The pursuit continues, the fall flat on our face follows.

And so, this woman grieves. There is no hope. As her wails pierce the heavens, the sorrowful cries echo throughout where a forgotten God hears them. And she hears His whisper across her soul.

You don’t have to fight this alone.

His whisper was a breeze, blowing through her fortress of chains, whistling in her ears, blowing through her hair.

woman outside with wind blowing through her hair
Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

Fresh air in a stale, dark place. Nothing changed here in her circumstances, but in that moment Enough supernaturally filled her. Without any resolution, she realized fulfilling life is offered to her right inside this moment, in this broken world, holding her in her sorrow. 

LOOKING UP AT OUR VICTORIOUS KING

Her cries circle around Him, and she expected to see her shadows of shame darken her Lord. But her sorrow didn’t take away from the perfection and joy of Him, but rather, added to it. For in the image of such sorrow, the victorious King stood even brighter. In the midst of her sorrow, His character and truth were magnified. It seemed impossible at first, but when she looked up at Him, rather than within herself, Light spread everywhere, even into the hopeless parts of her soul and she saw with new eyes.

Girl in sunlight with her arms lifted
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

“So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. John 16:22 NLT

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NLT

INVITED INTO VICTORY WHILE LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF STRUGGLE

It feels trite, in the middle of this broken world, to just point you to victory and say, it’s there! Believe it! Hold it in your heart as undying truth!

What you feel and experience in this broken world is real. It hurts. It’s done some damage. We fight to patch over, fix and make new only to find we have no real skills qualifying us for this work. 

We cannot make new. Not on our own.

But He can. And He wants to partner with us.

And even more promising and hope-filling, is that He can make new right here even in the places that fight against goodness and joy. In the face of evil, God invites us to live as though we’ve already conquered that evil, because He has. As His sons and daughters, we lay down our roots in Him, grow as His child, blessed and beloved and extending His love to others. It is a Kingdom we cannot yet see, but the Holy Spirit in us allows us to feel it and be filled by Him right now. 

As we live and build life on earth, may our eyes be ever focused on that which is unseen, but ignited inside us. A miraculous filling of hope even when it doesn’t make sense. A spectacular dose of joy in every circumstance. A war cry of victory, no matter how beat down we may feel. These gifts are ours to claim, right now. He extends them to us as gifts of armor accompanying His Spirit, living inside us. Join me in the coming weeks as we talk about each of these armor-gifts here on the blog.

women putting arms around each other
Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash

LIVING TRUTH OUT IN COMMUNITY WITH OTHERS

May we look to our right and to our left, and link arms with our brothers and sisters, united in this truth–that Christ is before us, behind us, in us and all around us. We are His and He is ours, and in this identity, we can claim victory here in the middle of our broken. Together, and in Him, we can live in His Kingdom come here on earth.

Thanks for listening,

Bekah

Join the Can’t Steal My Joy Community Group on Facebook!

Sign up to receive my monthly email with encouragement, hope and resources and delicious recipes!

Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
Print

June 9, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Previous Post: « When You Question If You’re on the Right Path
Next Post: Put on Truth »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




subscribe without commenting

Primary Sidebar

Hey! It is nice to meet you!

Bekah Bowman

Hey, I’m Bekah and I’m so glad you’re here! It’s my mission to help you find joy, belonging, and hope in Jesus. I wear many hats, but some of my favorite hats are being a coach’s wife and a mom to boys. Read more…

  • Facebook
  • Instagram

Search by Category

The Batten disease community is a family we never The Batten disease community is a family we never wanted to be a part of (and resisted at the beginning), but once we accepted our presence in this new way of life, we've been so grateful for them.
.
You wouldn't browse their profiles here on social media long before you'd be struck by how resilient, joyful, humorous, forgiving, determined and strong these kids are.
.
We got a sweet gift this week from a fellow batten family, @charleighsjourney , and the words at the end of the book they gifted us speak a truth I feel deeply inside.
.
What the world marks as weak and pitiful, God marks as honored and blessed. It doesn't matter that these kids are unable to communicate and process like their peers. They all carry innate, God-given value, and incredible characteristics, teaching us big things about life. Inspiring us. And I am so thankful each child and family have crossed our paths, teaching us things only they can.
.
Nancy Tillman ends her book You're Here for a Reason, "You're here for a reason. If you think you're not, I would just say that perhaps you forgot--a piece of the world that is precious and dear would surely be missing if you weren't here."
.
.
.
#allbelong #roomformore #aseatatthetableforall #battendisease #framily #friendswhoarefamily #completebodyofchrist #weareallneeded #disabilityawareness #disabilityinclusion #raredisease #CLN2 #indispensABLE
Liminal space has been on my mind lately. A space Liminal space has been on my mind lately. A space that is a transition, a crossing over from the old story into the new story. A space that tells of what was and holds anticipation for what isn't quite yet known, and at the same time holds almost a frozen middle where we can believe there is no story, or maybe even no hope.
.
Its the walk down the empty hallway to the audition room. It's the minutes, hours, and days after a life-altering diagnosis, divorce, job change. I would venture to say it is the years we are living in that stand between what was a perfect Garden and what will be a redeemed Earth.
.
I am constantly in awe of the invitation we are given to pick up a pencil and write stories into these liminal spaces. We are invited to script our small little stories to intersect with the big God story of love and redemption, participating in the inbreaking of God's Kingdom right here, right now in this liminal space.
.
I think of how Abraham obeyed when God told him to leave his home and go to a land God promised would be his inheritance. He left without knowing where he was going. And when he arrived at his destination, he lived there as a foreigner. Talk about liminal space. He lived in an awareness of what God was promising, though it was far off, and he welcomed it and lived believing God would keep those promises, even if he would never see the fulfillment of those promises in his lifetime.
.
I'm not sure who is feeling frozen in liminal space right now with the transition of "story" happening in so much of our world--political unrest, social gatherings and the way we do school, church, how the world fights to define what is truth, etc...
.
The story I dare to write here in this space is one of confident hope in the Light of the World. This confident hope feeds into kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Col 3). It's a story I hope will tell of a growing resolve in me that cannot be shaken no matter the storm or unknown, because I lean into and on a Hope who simply will not fail. Take a look at Isaiah 11:1-5.
.
Jesus, meet us here in these unknown, difficult, anxiety-ridden spaces and bolster us as we lean into your grace, direction, and love.
We were saying our prayers tonight and thanking Go We were saying our prayers tonight and thanking God for the various things from our day.
.
Ely interrupts me, and says, "Rooooaaar!"
.
I laughed. "Yep, and thank you, Lord, for Brown Bear, Brown Bear," I said.
.
He gives me a soft smile as I finish our prayer.
.
I love his participation, his own unique way of expression in prayer. I love his heart and pleasures in simple things. And I know, without a doubt, that little one-word prayer of gratitude reached right to the heart of God.
.
.
.
#cantstealmyjoy #adayinthelifeofEly #disabilityawareness #differentlyabled #differentnotless #specialneedsmom #rarediseasefamily #Godsbeloved #cln2 #childlikewonder #prayersofachild #childlikefaith
Wrapping up infusion 111 over here right now. This Wrapping up infusion 111 over here right now. This kid got in some music therapy today!
🎵
What looked to become a very short visit because of his intolerance to the noise turned into half an hour of Ely taking the lead and Mary, the music therapist, following along. Ely would hum and "sing" and she played the xylophone, and the two put on quite a concert in this tiny room of the pediatric cancer institute. My face hurts from smiling.
🎵 
#musictherapy #joyfulnoise #cantstealmyjoy #adayinthelifeofEly #team4titusandely #infusion #rareisbeautiful #differentlyabled #differentnotless #cln2 #brineura #miracleshappeneveryday
Happy New Year, everyone! . We have words for 2020 Happy New Year, everyone!
.
We have words for 2020, don't we? But I've got words for a lot of years these past few and I've learned that there are also always beautiful gifts to behold.
.
So, I'm grateful for the disruption, the re-evaluation, the simplification, the re-prioritization.
.
I'm thankful for home projects, home offices, home-grown food, home therapy, home school, home church.
.
I'm thankful for new passions, new learnings, new books, new friends, new traditions, new yard, new countertops, new adventures.
.
I walk into 2021 no fool. (well maybe little bit of one.) I've been saying this for years and I'll say it again. I have no idea what 2021 holds for us, but I guess this joy-seeker (and finder) can't help but feel hopeful anticipation. Here's to the next leg of the journey. 💛
As we I pulled up for our last infusion of 2020 an As we I pulled up for our last infusion of 2020 and Ely's 110th infusion total so far, I was filled with an assurance of hope.
.
I can't often put into words what its like to live with such heavy loss at the expense of batten disease, and also live with hope and gratitude in the face of batten disease.
.
(That's right- in yo face, batten!) Ah-hem. Sorry couldn't help myself.
.
On the heals of grief comes hope. And on the heals of hope comes grief. It's complicated.
.
Somehow hope keeps haunting me though. In the middle of this Christmas season, as grief wells up, the "magic" of the season feels absent,  there is something that just won't be put to rest, won't go away, won't stop softly tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me of Jesus's presence... His victory. Its hope.
.
.
.
#cantstealmyjoy #adayinthelifeofEly #victoryinjesus #holidaygrief #joyfulliving #joyandpain #gratitude #rarediseasefamily #specialneedsmom #missingbig #adventuresinheaven #team4titusandely #cln2 #battendisease #biomarin #raretreatment #infusionday
I remember the first time we experienced isolation I remember the first time we experienced isolation and rejection at the hands of a faith community. On the other hand, I also could sit here for a week straight and recount story after story of our family being brought to the centerfold of our faith community.
.
Thankfully, the latter has been the majority of our experience. But I can't say the same for far too many individuals and families who live with disabilities.
.
I remember the moment God began kindling in my heart a quiet mission. A mission to help families with disabilities and faith communities come together. To serve together. To journey life with one another. Each side just needs some help communicating and educating. We don't know what we don't know. God showed me I've got a foot on either side of that gap and with His leading, I could perhaps help make that gap a little bit smaller.
.
As this mission has grown to a blaze in my heart, I enrolled in the Beyond Suffering Disability Ministry Certification course through @joniandfriends .
.
Nov 22 I handed in my last assignment, completing the course. All throughout those 5 months, I cried, identified with so much, and I learned way more than I knew. I'm so grateful, and I look forward to what might be next.
.
.
.
#disabilityministry #disabilityawareness #disabilityministrycoach #lifewithoutlack #cantstealmyjoy #roomatthetable #roomformore #indispensABLE #specialneedsmom #rarediseasefamily #joniandfriends #bridgingthegap #beavoice

Copyright © 2021 · Bekah Bowman · All Rights Reserved