Yesterday I was in my living room planning a service for my six year old, Titus, who’s life ended here on this earth on Sept. 17th, but began forever in eternity with Jesus. Today, I’m sitting ocean side on a crisp cool morning. My husband is still asleep in the room behind me, Ely at home with family, so Danny and I could get away to celebrate our 11th anniversary. I think back to that day 11 years ago… had we known then what we were in for, I can’t say for certainty those two young twenty-somethings would’ve gone through with it. Quite possibly, both of us would’ve bolted. We would’ve heard all the hard and terrible we’d have to endure and I’m sure we would’ve determined that it just wasn’t meant to be… that God would never hold such brokenness in his plan for us. And, therefore, we must run and find another destiny. A happy destiny.
But there was no such crystal ball, no angel announcing the news through visions in our sleep. So, we followed what our hearts knew and we knew we loved each other. And when I look back, I don’t see a big, giant mistake. I see LOVE. It’s messy, sometimes muddled, sometimes bright and brilliant, but it’s always there. It’s not a flitting rush of love, it’s a deep anchor of love. It’s an anchor that has stood deep and strong under currents of job changes, big moves, having babies, raising young children, losing one of those precious children, and traveling across the country twice a month to attempt saving the other. It’s stood deep under currents of arguments, selfishness, pet peeves, expectations, broken relationships, healed relationships, old friendships, new friendships.
And where did this anchor come from? When we declared our love to each other on that day 11 years ago, our vow was to love each other NO MATTER WHAT. Through it all. And we really meant it too, but the thing about words is that they can lose their potency over time. So we didn’t just vow this to each other. We came to the altar of our Lord and requested His guidance, His strength, His perseverance, His joy, His wisdom, His love to be in us. For always, no matter what.
I’m watching the ocean waters roll and crash in over and over and over again. It feels calming, but in a way, it reminds me of our life. Wave after wave crashing over us with little time to stop and catch our breath before the next one rolls in. But I still can’t see the waves as all bad. There are gifts in them. As they wash over, we come up grateful for the next breath we get to draw. We re-set our perspective and notice things differently. We look from side to side and see others enduring the ride of the wave too. All the sand and gunk that built up on us while sitting in still or retreating waters is washed off as another wave crashes over. It becomes a wake up call, a refresher, an agent of focus on what is really important. There are so many gifts. And as these waves hit us, I’m thankful for the biggest gift of all. His steady anchor of love that holds us together through it all.
God’s anchor will not move and He will always hold on to us. I hope you’ve found His strong anchor too.
Happy Anniversary to my love, the one who clings tightly to the same anchor I do.
Thanks for listening,