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Bekah Bowman

Can't Steal My Joy

Home | Our Story Part 4- Learning to live after loss | It’s all in the roots, part 2

It’s all in the roots, part 2

Our Story Part 4- Learning to live after loss

There is a story I must finish telling, although, I laugh as I write that because the story is far from over. A couple months ago I shared with you all the vision God gave me of a blooming flower back in October of 2015. (Missed it? Click here to read it.) This wasn’t just any blooming flower though. This flower had a stem broken near off, holes beaten through the leaves. An obvious worn and tattered life had broken it down. One would expect this particular flower to wither and die, but the most miraculous thing was happening on the end of the dangling stem. The flower was blooming bright, full and yellow singing to the world of its glory… no, rather of God’s glory. And that glory-proclaiming was deeply rooted in the system of that flower under the ground, weaving it’s roots through others’ and holding it down in a place of nourishment, stability amidst chaos, hope in the shadow of death and redemption in the here and now and to come. There was beauty happening in the midst of the ugly and this bloom demanded others passing by to stop captivated by it’s impossible strength. This… this was the picture God gave me for the life we were journeying.

As I held on to this very clear vision, I found life in it. I knew we were blooming when it didn’t make sense and I felt a sense of joy through our days with Titus. We dove deep into learning to love big and live intentionally in each and every moment. We built and nurtured relationships because that was most important to us. Our community = our roots.

In November of 2016, just 2 short months after Titus went to adventure with Jesus and an entire year since God has inspired me with that vision, Ely came home with a pot of dirt from church. Of course, it spilled on the way home in the car and, of course, I had the worst attitude about it, huffing and scooping the dirt up, throwing it into the pot vowing to toss it when I got inside. Danny, our plant whisperer, told me to set it out on the patio and he was going to see if anything would grow. I set it out there, dusted my hands off and moved on.

Nothing happened those first couple weeks. It appeared Danny was watering dirt. Just dirt. Then one day this tiny little green bud popped out. Danny was so proud (he really can make just about anything grow). We watched this flower grow and grow until it opened up into this gorgeous flower. It’s color? Yellow. What a sweet treasure as we thought of our yellow-loving boy Titus every time we looked at it. It bloomed proud and perfect. Until one day Danny was out chopping wood for an upcoming camping trip. A splinter flung off to one side and chopped that bloom right off. We were so sad. We really grieved this poor flower’s sudden death. The beauty on our patio diminished on that day.

Fast forward to another passing Sunday, my sister and I inside having coffee and conversation, Danny and our brother-in-law Michael outside working on patio projects. We hear a knock on the back door and see Michael’s hand waving us over as he’s holding up a flower pot, face in the window. At first, confused I looked at him trying to figure out what he’s holding, but as I got closer, I felt God wrap me up in a giant bear hug as he whispered, “you are still beautiful because you are my child.” In Michael’s hand was that poor flower who met the death of splintered wood, but it looked different. It’s stem was broken so much it was dangling, and the leaves were a bit beaten up, but hanging at an angle just like the flower in my vision, was this incredible yellow bloom. It spoke through it’s beauty to my heart saying, “You can’t steal my joy.”

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I was in awe at this gift. For God to have reached down in such a way to plant such deep symbolism in my mind in 2015 and then actually create such a scene in my back patio in 2016… Wow!

I thought of all we’d journeyed through in that time. A brand-new, heartbreaking diagnosis for both our boys. The steep learning curve of learning to advocate. The fight to give my child freedom as Batten disease stripped it away. The firm grasp we held to living in the moment and adventuring as a family no matter what the conditions were. And then the “lasts” with Titus. The last time we’d celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, his birthday with him. The last time we’d hear him laugh or see him smile. The last time we’d take him to school. The last time we’d watch him take a breath… a breath that was a last here on Earth, but was a launching pad to Jesus. Then planning a memorial service and celebrating Titus. And then our firsts. Our first chance at fighting against this disease and taking Ely to Ohio for surgery and infusions. All this, and so much more took place between these two events- my vision in 2015 and God’s creative outpouring of glory on my back patio in 2016.

And all this time, I’ve been so very aware of two things.

My brokenness.

His redemption.

hope and redemption
hope and redemption

And really, aren’t we all broken? When you look at this flower, you know what your broken stem and beaten leaves are. We all have them. But at the end of that broken stem is a redemptive bloom. One that reflects the unchanging beauty of Christ that is in ALL of us. Perhaps, when we look at the bloom, our stems and leaves become (dare I say it?) inconsequential? Not because they don’t hurt anymore… oh they do! But because we can see beyond it and know that hope is always worth holding on to because redemption is coming – and in fact – is already happening here and now.

Oh friend, may you see your bloom. May you know deep in your soul just how much Jesus loves you. I mean, really, really loves you. And, my friend? Hold on. Hold on to those hope filled roots, God’s strength and victory always before you, beside you, under you, and all around you.

Thanks for listening,

Bekah

PS. If you want to hear more of the story, I had the opportunity to speak at our home church in California. Click here to have a listen. I pray you feel Abba Father’s Great Love for you.

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August 18, 2018 · 5 Comments

Previous Post: « It’s all in the roots, part 1
Next Post: It’s time to let go! »

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  1. Kari Shone says

    August 18, 2018 at 4:23 pm

    Amazing! Well said

    Reply
    • youcantstealmyjoy says

      August 21, 2018 at 12:56 pm

      Thank you, Kari! Hugs to you guys!

      Reply
  2. Diana Thomas says

    August 18, 2018 at 2:42 pm

    Amazing!

    Reply
    • youcantstealmyjoy says

      August 21, 2018 at 12:55 pm

      Isn’t it? God just keeps showing up, we just need eyes willing to see.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. It’s Book Cover Reveal Time! says:
    May 28, 2019 at 10:28 am

    […] Anna Bloomfield – you heard the story of this flower and the symbolism it holds in my life and turned it into a digital footprint of my dreams. Thank you for your time, your passion, and your skills. And thank you, most of all, for listening to my heart and allowing me into yours. (For those who don’t know the story of the broken flower, go here: Part 1 and Part 2). […]

    Reply

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Hey! It is nice to meet you!

Bekah Bowman

Hey, I’m Bekah and I’m so glad you’re here! It’s my mission to help you find joy, belonging, and hope in Jesus. I wear many hats, but some of my favorite hats are being a coach’s wife and a mom to boys. Read more…

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I gave up on sleep around 4:30 this morning. Ely h I gave up on sleep around 4:30 this morning. Ely had been up since 1:30 and it was clear his body was struggling to settle down and sleep. I had fits of horrible nightmares. At 4:30, I waved the white flag. We got up and I googled a good baked donut recipe.
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Waking up from such darkness made me even more aware of the light and hope today holds. As I mixed the batter and prepped the pan, I was filled with gratitude for Jesus. For who He is. For what He has done to this darkness. Friends, if you haven't yet--consider Jesus.
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He's the one who drew a line in the dirt between a woman labeled a prostitute and the rest of the crowd ready to kill her and he stood on her side and offered her love and hope.
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He's the one who reached out to touch a man who hadn't been so much as touched on the arm by someone for who knows how long because of his diseased body--a man who had been marginalized, oppressed, shunned. His touch gave value and love to this man.
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He's the one who saw an odd short man up in a tree and invited him into friendship. A man who was hated because he was a cheat. Jesus's friendship offered him a new start and love to guide him.
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He's the one who broke the news of who He was to a woman. And not just any woman, but one who was thought of as second-rate filth to the culture of that day. In His proclamation, He reminded her of who she really was-- chosen, beloved, and yes, loved.
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He's the one who went through what could perhaps be described as the most gruesome, torturous death. And in the midst of it, reached out to the criminal next to him and stole this man away from darkness and death and offered him victory and life.
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He's the one who held this mom as she held her son during his last breath. And in her grief and desperate wails, He grieved too, and promised Redemption and overwhelming Joy. Love shown through victory over death.
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I can't explain how central this is to everything. Absolutely everything. If you haven't yet, please--consider Jesus. Not religion, not a list of rules, not hurtful expectations "christians" have perhaps put on you or wounded you with.... not those things. Jesus. Please consider Jesus. 💛
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He is Risen. 🙌
Loving this beautiful 75° day out on the back pat Loving this beautiful 75° day out on the back patio with one of our sensory bins full of sea creatures. Sunshine was just what we both needed!
For all you special needs moms (and dads too), I l For all you special needs moms (and dads too), I love this podcast, Embracing Holland. 

If you haven't heard the poem Holland, give it a Google. Chances are, if you're in this world of disabilities, you know that poem well. 

I got to chat with hosts Meg and Angie and we got into one of the topics I'm super passionate about--bridging the gap between churches and people impacted by disabilities. 💛 

If you are a parent of a child with special needs, I encourage you to subscribe to their podcast and join their Facebook group Embracing Holland Podcast Community.
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#Repost @embracingholland
• • • • • •
Attending church as a family is complicated when you are raising a child with a disability, for many, many reasons. So when we talked to @bekahsbowman about her experience, and what she is doing to build a bridge between ministry and disabilities, it was such an encouraging and inspiring conversation.

If you are connected to church ministry in any way, please listen to this episode, and check out Joni and Friends an organization dedicated to equipping people and churches to serve and include the disability community. 

Bekah has a podcast ministry she's starting called Room for More where she says all are not just welcome and invited, they are needed. @roomformoreministry 

She also has a book you can check out called Can't Steal My Joy: The Journey to a Different Kind of Brave, available on Amazon.
I took Ely to the park the other day. There were a I took Ely to the park the other day. There were a couple of kids out on the playground. Trepidation grew in my heart as we got closer.
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"Will he be accepted this time?"
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"Will they see past his odd mannerisms and learn that's he a really cool kid?"
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Once again, the answer was no, they would not. Ely was only worthy of a few side-glances, and with every step closer, a step was taken to put distance between him and them. Ely didn't know what was happening, but it broke my heart.
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I thought, "will he ever get to call someone 'friend'"?
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And then my next thought, "how many people with disabilities have grown up without someone outside their family and care team who they could call friend?"
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The answer is: far too many. And it's a shame this world is missing out on the gift of their friendships.
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Before any of us call these kids on the playground jerks or blame their parents for their insensitive behaviors, can we take a moment to look inward?
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Was there a time you side-stepped, switched directions, smiled politely and walked quickly by when you were near someone different than you? I know I have. And it's not okay. I know those kids on the playground are probably also really cool kids. They were uncomfortable and didn't know how to handle it.
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This past Sunday was Ely's first Sunday back to church since the pandemic. A little girl about 3 years old asked if Ely "would like a warm hug?" I smiled. She moved toward Ely and gave value to his presence.The expansiveness of her comfort zone challenged mine. And may it also challenge yours. It only takes extending a gift of friendship.
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#DisabilityAwareness #differentlyabled #differentnotless #friendshipgoals #beafriend #notthathard #warmhugs #lessonsfromFrozen #handsandfeetofJesus #bettertogether #roomformore #allbelong #indispensABLE
Guess what today is?! Today marks TWO WHOLE YEARS Guess what today is?! Today marks TWO WHOLE YEARS with Ely's chest-to-brain port infusion system!!
🎉
This first-of-its-kind-ever-in-the-world system has worked flawlessly for two years now. 52 infusions under our belt and this system is gaining legitimacy and attention.
🎉
I'm grateful for the creativity of our neurosurgeon to think of this different delivery system. We made the switch to avoid potential brain surgery every few years and to allow the skin on his head to heal as it was getting thin and breaking open easily. But we've found more benefits than that in the process.
🎉
Since switching over, Ely has not struggled once with nausea (which was a common side effect for him before) nor have we had any bacterial infections or possibilities of one. He has so much more freedom to move around and we never have to worry about the needle accidentally dislodging as it's very secure.
🎉
I know this system won't be for everyone, and I realize we are still early in this journey and may have some bumps down the road that are yet unseen, but we're grateful to have been given the choice. Today, as we infuse #116 here at #stlukeschildrens I'm full of gratitude.
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#adayinthelifeofEly #rarediseaselife #infusionday #cln2 #battendisease #rarediseasefamily #RareDiseaseAwareness #DisabilityAwareness #differentlyabled #differentnotless #rarediseasemom #specialneedsmom #cantstealmyjoy #gratitude
This guy swiped his daddy's hat and thought he was This guy swiped his daddy's hat and thought he was pretty hilarious.
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He was. 💛
Part two released today on the Joni and Friends Po Part two released today on the Joni and Friends Podcast... I pray as you journey your own path of grief or unexpected circumstances, this brings you hope. 💛
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Also, super fun for me--getting to put our amazing community on display in this podcast episode, from Columbus, Ohio to Irvine, CA and all the places in between--thank YOU for helping me carry my grief. You are a true reflection of Jesus.
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#Repost @joniandfriends
• • • • • •
On a recent episode of the podcast, @bekahsbowman shared about finding beauty and goodness in the middle of unthinkable loss. This week, she is back to talk about carrying grief as she has navigated the diagnosis of a fatal disease for both of her young sons.

If your life has taken an unexpected turn or you are traveling with grief as a constant companion, listen to the podcast today and be encouraged by Bekah’s journey.

Click the link in our bio to subscribe!
...
#Podcast #RareDisease #Loss #Hope #CantStealMyJoy #Disability #DisabilityAwareness #Heartbreak #Grief #RareDiseaseAwareness #Jesus #Encourage #Encouraging #Inspiration #Inspirational

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