In November of 2014, my baby sister was getting married. I was the matron of honor and my oldest son, Titus, the ring bearer. Leading up to the week before the wedding, Titus could not escape terrible seizures. They were uncontrolled by medication and endangered him. The doctor took one look at him in clinic and sent us right over to the hospital where he remained for more testing and a drastic change-up in medication. As the countdown to this special day got closer, it was obvious we wouldn’t be making it to the wedding happening a few states away. We were all broken-hearted. How could I possibly miss my sister’s wedding?
A desperate perspective shift
Somehow we managed to pull together a plan and bought a plane ticket for myself and our youngest son, Ely. In a whirlwind trip, we hopped on a plane late Friday night to get there in time for the Saturday wedding. My husband would stay with Titus in the hospital. Ely and I would return early Sunday morning. And this was the life we were living for nearly a year at that point. Some unidentified monster kept jerking our family back and forth unexpectedly, ripping away plans and memories that were meant to be made. It angered me and yet I sought a perspective shift purely out of the need for survival. In that seeking, God met me in big ways and began teaching me about brokenness and beauty, about pain and joy.
Daddy and Titus on Titus’s 5th birthday 
Mommy and Ely at one of Ely’s infusions 
Team 4 Titus Basketball game at Concordia U of Irvine 
Ely on one of our camping adventures 
A family photo after our Titus went to be with Jesus
As I learned these things, I would scribble them across the pages of my journal. And in those whisperings that scribbled across my heart, I felt a strong call to share. A friend of mine drove Ely and I to the airport late that November Friday and I mentioned this call on my heart to start a blog. She replied with an affirming enthusiasm, “YOU SHOULD!”
The Birth of “Can’t Steal My Joy”
But it wasn’t until March of 2015 that I finally took the dive. I signed on to WordPress and sat on the home screen where I needed to type in the name for my blog. Dun, dun, dun… The pressure to come up with something creative and catchy delayed my dive into the blog world. And then it hit me. The devil was trying so hard to steal my joy. This blog was my way of saying to him with a deep conviction, “You can’t steal my joy.” And this blog was born.
Here’s the thing… Guys, your story might look completely different than mine, but we all have something in common. We all have these broken stems and beaten leaves and we all have the potential to bloom full and beautiful despite our brokenness. Or, dare I say, because of? There is nothing that can illuminate the light better than darkness, am I right? And so here you and I are, our lives intersecting here and I am so thankful they have. We have power in doing life together as we enthusiastically affirm each other’s dynamic, glorious blooms that have come out of impossible brokenness.
Where to start
If you want to begin reading where it all started, I suggest beginning with “It’s all about the heart change.” Or perhaps “From the broken” or “This… this now”. To hear my war cry head over to “How dare I Joy”. If you’d like to know how in the world we’ve made it through the death of one son and the very same fate delivered to our youngest, I invite you to give “Community or bust”, “Ride for Ely” and “It was you” a read.
Most importantly, how in the world do I find joy in every breath? Well, because joy, I’ve learned, is not a what – it’s a Who. I share my heart here in “Why the why matters” and “Hope on a broken bridge”.
Dive in to this joy-world with me. Let’s step out of our comfort zones together, sharing vulnerably in anticipation of God doing something quite amazing. We are meant to champion each other, do life in community, shine light on the darkness and call out beautiful blooms in each other.
And this is why “Can’t Steal My Joy” was born.
